Decisions, Decisions...

       It's almost spring break at school, which means that the students are getting restless as spring approaches. Restlessness means failures. More of my students are failing right now than I would like to admit. I usually let them flounder around until about now and then lay it on thick. I will pull a failing student aside after class and say the following: "I was just wondering why it was that you've decided to fail my class this quarter." Usually, if done right, it gets a pretty strong response. My students are still at a stage where they believe that a teacher gives grades rather than a student earning them. Usually, they try to protest: "I don't know why YOU're failing me!". And then I point out all the decisions that a student made before they got to that "F": (Have you decided not to do classwork/homework? have you decided not to come see me during lunch for extra help? have you decided to sleep in class? have you decided to chat instead of taking notes?).
       Even as adults, we like to think that we have less agency in our own lives rather than accepting the decisions that we've made. We like to say that we don't have time to do certain things (like read, exercise, or cook), but what we really mean is that we've decided that those things aren't as important to us as other things. We say that we can't get along with another person when what we mean is that we prefer not to try to see that person's point of view. We say that we can't lose weight when what we really mean is that we've decided that we don't want to make the permanent change that it takes to drop the pounds.  We say that we are too tired to finish the workout, or to pedal hard, or to run fast, but what we really mean is that we have decided not to try. We say "can't" sometimes when we mean "won't".
    I've realized this: there are so many things that we can't control that we need to control the things that we can. Many times we can choose to be happy when we are not. We can choose to devote the energy to changing things we don't like. We can choose to try our best at every workout or we can say that we are too tired, sore, or busy to do it correctly. In the end, we can make excuses all we want, but that finish line still looms whether you try your best or enjoy the workout along the way or not.