Struggling

We talked today in our English department meeting about how important it is for students to realize that there is value in struggle. Oftentimes, the greatest learning happens when children are allowed to struggle through a dense text, a complex math problem, or a difficult new skill . We don't learn by doing things that are easy, we learn by testing our limits.  The key is learning that struggle is an integral part of this process; to recognize it, embrace it even.
The conversation about struggle was timely for me, because it is something that I have been thinking about since last weekend. I've been struggling in myriad ways in the past couple weeks with Ironman and this last weekend's workout only increased my frustration.
On one hand, I am at the point in training, and school (heck, and life), that it is a daily struggle to get everything done (yes, I should be pre-cooking dinner right now or folding laundry or putting away dishes or running, and instead I am writing a blog post. Sue me.).  I have made and backed out of plans, eaten more frozen things than I would like to admit, realized that I had nothing to wear to work at the last minute, and driven an extra 3 hours in a morning so I could attend a wedding the night before a ride. It just seems like there is not enough time in the day to get everything that needs to get done done. Someone asked me if I had seen a new TV show today and I laughed in his face. Who has time to watch TV?
That struggle is compounded with the struggle that actually IS the process of training. I looked down at my watch at the beginning of my ride this weekend while pedaling and realized that I was going 12 miles an hour. That headwind continued for 3 hours. It gets frustrating realizing that your body isn't doing what you want it to do, that things hurt (always different things- why?!), that you aren't making the gains that you thought you would as fast as you would.
But if Ironman were easy, then it wouldn't be an accomplishment. If we didn't struggle through workouts, our bodies wouldn't get stronger (sometimes slowly, at their own pace). I know from experience that the struggle does make you physically stronger, and that all the mental struggle and the sacrifices are worth it come race day when you come cruising across the finish line and hear your own name, followed by "you are an Ironman". And...and...despite everything that is difficult (because of everything that is difficult), when I go to work on Monday, wiped out and tired and windburned and tan and I ask others how their weekends were and they say that they "watched the game" or "watched some TV", I know that I rather would struggle and ride my bike 12 miles an hour into a 30 mile an hour headwind than sit on the couch anyday.



“Struggling and suffering are the essence of a life worth living. If you're not pushing yourself beyond the comfort zone, if you're not demanding more from yourself - expanding and learning as you go - you're choosing a numb existence. You're denying yourself an extraordinary trip.”
-Dean Karnazes